Day-tripping this summer has been great fun for the kids who have no concept of how much planning, packing and muling we have to do, to bring it all together.

I dragged half of our house in my back-pack, a cooler filled with cold drinks and lunch, a stroller loaded with a picnic blanket, baby bjorn infant carrier, sunscreens, diapers, wipes, camera equipment both for still and streaming video and spare clothes, to prevent four hours of screaming should a whale splash us again this year at Marineland.

My latest invention (patent pending) is the “day-tripper” bag. It would be half cooler, half clothing/diaper bag with a bottom fold for a picnic blanket. It would fit under any stroller leaving your hands and back free for children requiring a piggy-back six hours into a very long day, or to bear the burden of your husband’s complaints of sore feet or heat stroke the moment our admittance stamps are securely in place.

We discovered today that our six year old is too tall for her own good, permitting her to gain entry onto rides she had no business being on.

Conversely, we also discovered our four year old is not tall enough to do any of the fun things her older sister is able to do and this caused some serious disappointments.

I tried to make it up to Ellie while Hanna screamed with delight from what I later heard was the world’s tallest, single tower amusement park ride (eek!) by purchasing bear food and letting her feed the bears. Why are we paying a park to feed their animals again? For $2.25 we made short order of an ice-cream cone filled with seven corn pop cereal balls. I think for the same price I could have bought a family-sized box of cereal and turned a rather healthy profit by charging just $1 for seven balls at my impromptu stand. Ellie yelled, “Bear!” and one of them actually swam over to her. She dropped all seven pops, the bear ate them and left. Money well spent.

Next, we watched a few people wander past wearing bikinis and I excitedly asked if they had added a water-park feature. They hadn’t. I see no need to wear a bikini if the only water at this park is home to dolphins and whales however, I can sympathize and also question, why there is no splash pad at a park whose very name includes the word marine.

Ellie asked me why people smoked and if they would die while they were within earshot. In my best outside voice, the answer was always “yes.”

Hanna told me the man’s Zach Galifianakis t-shirt had a bad word, “fat” and he quickly tried to cover it with his bag while waiting in line for a kiddy-ride. I question why he chose to wear a t-shirt with the words “Fat Jesus” on the front and “Tits” on the back to a children’s theme park, but that will have to be left between him and his God….King Waldorf.