I will not be able to write that book today as I will be busy picking up cheques at several banks and postal outlets in the area.

I don’t understand why I’ve been chosen as a part of this aggressive email campaign to accept these dead relative’s fortunes but really what have I got to lose?

Bijami Janet wrote to me about a cashier’s cheque in my name for $800,000 (US Dollars) and all I have to do is send $80 for shipping and handling. Wow, Nigeria’s postal prices really are exorbitant compared to ours, a simple piece of paper can usually be sent for less than $1 (US Dollar) but I guess I should just be glad he (or she) went to the effort to set this up on my behalf. Janet, hmmmm, funny name when coupled with Bijami but Three’s Company did have a world-wide following.

Now for something really exciting, I’ve also got $5.5 million (US Dollars) in an overdue payment from the Federal Ministry of Finance (also Nigeria). Who knew I had so many Nigerian roots and why are they so much more generous than my Canadian relatives? An overdue payment is even better. Perhaps it’s like our local library system and that $5.5 million (US Dollars) is actually worth exponentially more. Just how overdue is this payment?

This notice came with a slightly harsher more serious tone. Apparently, there are fraudulent cases floating around the internet so in order to receive my very real and totally legitimate $5.5 million (US Dollars), I need to disregard all previous notices and really just focus on giving my full attention to this secure and totally believable one.

The email was written in a more legal-minded way (if that’s even remotely possible) given the verbiage was clearly taken from an actual document, fudged and changed but lacking the fantastical grammar and spelling errors I so look forward to in the other documents. One quality I found odd (as if there was only one) is that all words have an upper case first letter. You know they’re serious when…..

An ATM card with a pin and password can be picked up but I’m only allowed to withdraw $5000 (US Dollars) per day. I smell something fishy. I also have to supply the Ministry of Finance (who happens to be a person and not an office and therefore shouldn’t he/she be the Minister? That one must be a translation mix-up) with a couple of standard pieces of ID, my name, home address, telephone number, occupation and obviously, my bank account details.
Note: “That Because Of Impostors We Hereby Grant You A Communication Code.” Shoot, I thought they were going to grant me three more wishes.

After I’m finished sending my $80, supplying the Ministry of Finance of Nigeria with all of my personal information, I will still not be able to find time to write, I’ll be busy with Kabir.

Hello.

This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not yet met. (No problem Kabir, a stranger’s just a friend you haven’t met) I have to say that I have no intentions of causing you any pains so i decided to contact you through this medium. (You have my undivided attention)

As you read this, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, (phew)because, I believe everyone will die someday. My name is Kabir Wasi, a merchant in Dubai, in the U.A.E. I have been diagnosed with prostate and esophageal Cancer that was discovered very late due to my laxity in caring for my health. It has defiled all form of medicine and right now, I have only about a few months to live according to medical experts.

I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone not even myself but my business. Though I am very rich, (Go On!!!) I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focus on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe if i have a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that I know my time is near, I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family members and as well as a few close friends and Schools in the UAE. I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, England and Ireland. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this my self any more. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and donate the money, which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria, they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, (nor should you, you’ve chosen a reliable Canadian stranger..I mean friend to help you at this difficult time) as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them. The last of my money which is the huge cash that I deposit in a bank in England Uk.

I want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to charity organizations and let them know that it is I Kabir Wasi, that is making this generous donation.

I am writing this from my laptop computer in my hospital bed in England where I wait for my time to come. If you are interested to help me i will give you more information about this like the amount that i deposited in the bank and Contact of the bank so you can contact them. I will also send you pictures of my self when in the hospital. (I’m going to need a frame)

Note that you will take 20% out of the funds and give 80% to the charity organizations. I pray that God uses you to support and assist me with good heart God be with you.

If you can help respond back to me on my private email: kabirwasi@centrum.cz

I don’t know how you found me Kabir but I won’t let you down buddy. Do you happen to know how I would get in touch with Janet in Nigeria?