Sometimes kids tell each other stories about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy. This week’s nightmare inducer—bed bugs.

We must remember when watching the news over breakfast, kids are curious, kids can read the ticker of headlines scrolling across the bottom of the screen and anytime another python is discovered accidentally in an apartment fire or there is mention of bed bugs in a hotel, their ears and eyes perk up.

Whether they speak about it over their Cheerios or not is irrelevant. It IS going to come up, likely on the playground at school or on the bus or in the bathroom stall with the strangely placed window at squatting height for five year olds.

I’m just asking parents to be aware these conversations or headlines might get discussed with friends so perhaps it’s our job (yes, I realize we already have a number of jobs) to talk to the kids about the real story so they don’t believe everything they see in Ant Bully.

The other night at bedtime, my five year old asked me, “Mommy, do you know what bed bugs are?”

Before I could answer, “They’re actually really big ants that crawl into your room when you’re sleeping. They turn your brain to goo so you are frozen and then they shrink you down and carry you away on their backs.”

Welcome to our bed at 2:30am Ellie, we’ve been expecting you. I was curious how many ants it took to carry her in though….

Thanks misinformed classmate.

Don’t let the gigantic ants that turn your brain to goo and shrink you carry you off tonight.