There were a few nervous moments before the first day of school yesterday. Here are a couple of comments from the kids while getting ready in the morning.

1. Is today crazy hair day because if it is, I want my hair in the pony tail that looks like a tree?
2. I have a big bag of butterflies in my stomach.
3. I think I left my book where you write down your new teacher’s name in Florida!
4. When we go to Florida, can I bring my bag with the turtles on it because it has make-up in it? (Focus Ellie, focus)
5. If you haven’t noticed, I’m not wearing any shorts!

We had talked about various scenarios over the summer (none of them involved forgetting shorts) about teacher and classroom assignments, how we would handle it if we weren’t with all of our friends, or even one very special friend. If the school initiation required the kids to eat fried worms the first day, if the jungle gym equipment had been removed indefinitely, if flip-flops were deemed inappropriate footwear and anyone who dared show up on the first day showing any toe would be escorted into a sound-proof portable where they would remain until the end of the day, what the girls really cared about was, “who is my teacher and are my friends in my class?”

Hanna’s class turned out to be stacked. Friends she is close to, friends she’d like to have, friends she hasn’t played with in a while, the cast of Friends. Hanna knew her teacher, was able to wear her flip-flops and was beaming from ear to ear.

Ellie’s class assignment was a split class, we had discussed this possibility. Her teacher was someone we had never seen or heard of. I can’t remember if we had tossed that one out in one of our scenarios but we would get to know her this year and everything would be fine. Ellie was not with anyone from her class last year other than two boys who are both adorable but they happen to be best friends and likely won’t have a lot of time for a girl with a bag of butterflies in her stomach. This one we hadn’t considered. I assumed the school made an effort to have at least one friend move ahead with each student, especially given there are only two options for her grade. Class A—all of her friends, Class B—the cheese stands alone.

Also, I had two parents notice despite our efforts of a cover-up, “Ellie must have really enjoyed swimming this summer, you can totally see the green in her hair!”

I left my green haired girl with her bag of butterflies alone in the school parking lot and felt terrible.

Finding the good in these situations can be a difficult search but here’s what I’m hoping.

1. A split class when you are in the lower grade gives you a free sneak peek at what is in store for next year. Fewer questions next summer about what lies ahead.
2. Meeting a new teacher could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. If this teacher is new to our school, she might work hard to impress the parents and teachers so this could be a win-win for my child.
3. Learning to cope with life’s hiccups is something we all need our children to go through and in this case, she’s going to have to deal with it alone. I can’t be there to bail her out or pull her out of unchartered waters. In Ellie’s case, I have confidence in my child’s resilience and I know if anyone can lift her chin, find something positive about the experience, green hair or otherwise, it’s her.
4. If this had been Hanna, I would have been watching the window all day for a kid who had thrown in the towel and walked home. (She has other redeeming qualities, too many to list but this one was best served to her younger sister)
5. Ellie had asked if it wasn’t too much trouble if I would make her favourite dinner sometime in the next couple of weeks—chicken parmesan with penne.

Guess what we’re having for dinner?