5.0

Sign Me Up….

I’m so used to calling Chloe “our four year old” but as of yesterday, she is now “our five year old” which means it’s all five and over in our house.

 
Let the games begin. (They already have)

 
This is a real conversation Chloe and I have every week on the way to her gymnastics lesson.

 
Chloe: Why did you make me wear this coat?

 
Her complaint about the coat is really just a gateway complaint for what is coming. Some days the early complaint is about her footwear, the fact her hair is in a ponytail and not down, the fact her hair down and not in a ponytail, that her hair is in two braids instead of two and a half twists. The fact I don’t know what she means by twist.

 
Inevitably, this is what ends up happening.

 
Chloe: Why did you sign me up for gymnastics?

 
There is not enough wine….

 
Me: I signed you up for gymnastics because you asked me to.

 
Chloe: I never asked you to sign me up for gymnastics.

 
Why do I walk right into her trap?

 
Me: Do you not like gymnastics?

 
Chloe: I do NOT like gymnastics. Why did you sign me up?

 
Me: Would you like me to braid your hair ½ more times? Maybe an attempt at a twist?

 
Chloe: You always sign me up for stuff that I don’t like.

 
What I want to say: Let’s stop going! Do you think I want to sit there while kids kick my tea over on my stocking feet in this weird world you can’t own shoes and you bang on the glass to get my attention if I even gesture towards turning on my Kobo?

 
What I do say: Well, you did ask us to sign you up for gymnastics so we are going to finish the session. If you would like to take a break, we won’t sign you up for the winter term. (I already have)

 
Chloe: Good. I hate it.

 
Great.

 
Time lapse photography illustrates the human behaviour of a now five year old in two and a half braids and an abysmal twist, manoeuvring her way through some foam blocks. Something magical happens.

 
Mikey likes it!

 
Chloe: I LOVE gymnastics! Sign me up for some more!

 
Second verse, same as the first.

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