I guess I’m partly to blame.

 
It seemed like a good idea at the time, exciting even.

 
I was in the moment. When he first suggested it, I thought, should I? What if it this gets out there?

 
I wasn’t thinking ahead about any major risks, I was really just curious more than anything and I couldn’t foresee potential repercussions in that precise set of circumstances. My heart was already pounding when I said yes.

 
The next step is likely fame and fortune as is often the case with these things.

 
It was yesterday at my swim practice.

 
I must have been talking smack more than usual (which would be next to impossible) and the coach suggested he tape me swimming one length of the pool so I could watch it back and really look at my technique (or some variation of the word) frame-by-painful-flailing-frame.

 
In my mind, I know I’m not a great swimmer or even a “swimmer” at all. I probably shouldn’t even be allowed in the pool with these amazing athletes I’m fortunate to kick under the lane ropes. And sure, I swear at them under my breath about how far ahead they are but that only lasts one or two gulps and then I realize my breath would be better served for something else—survival.

 
But I thought I had been making some great strides over the past two years…until yesterday.

 
Seeing yourself on screen in a bathing suit, cap and goggles—this is what Dr. Phil was talking about when he came up with his “Life’s 5 Defining Moments.”

 
In my mind, I was a mother of three out to get some exercise two mornings a week.

 
On the screen I was one part mid-life crisis, two parts, one-swam-into-the-cuckoo’s-nest.

 
As hot as I knew that disposable, Costco bathing suit was when I bought it two years ago, it seemed to really be highlighting the drag more than I would have liked.

 
Probably the worst part in all of this was becoming accustomed to watching young kids swimming (well) at swim meets. They are little and move through the water like mermaids.

 
I think my Coach’s ipad must have been a mini because at-no-time did my entire body fit on the screen. We had to watch in slow motion as opposed to freezing the frame or my legs would have been cut off.

 
“Who is that? Is that me?”

 
I. Am. Ridiculous.

 
In the best possible way. If I can do this, anyone can.

 
I’m sure this would have been reason enough for some people to quit but this inspires me to go back (maybe with some swankier equipment…and perhaps some sort of greased, full body smock). I’m determined to get this right and have fun while doing it.

 
Trying something new is never easy. Putting yourself out there, learning a skill, craft, sport, bottle opener is good for you.

 
It’s never too late.

 
The video has been deleted and the ipad has had an unfortunate accident.

 
Onward and upwards.

photo is a likeness