Do Not Disturb….

Like most people, we were asleep at 3:15am last night. All of us. Greg, myself and our three children—asleep. Go figure.

Until someone knocked on our door and rang our doorbell which interestingly, rings every phone in our house thanks to a very cool technological advancement in doorbell gadgetry that Greg just had to have.

Before the first fist made contact with the door for the first knock, our first kid was already standing at the foot of our bed wondering what was happening.

It really was “off the chain” but not in the cool, new way things are off the chain. The way your bike chain falls off and leaves black grease all over your new pink cords or the way your Annie heart locket (half) falls off the chain and leaves you orphaned and broken inside–that kind of off the chain.

Greg answered the phone while I muttered something like, “It’s go time” and then he started calling out a series of numbers to me, 5, 1, 9, he was directing me to make a phone call for the people at the door. The numbers just seemed like random gibberish to me. At 3:15am if you don’t start your instructions with, “Sorry to wake you sweetheart but could you dial these numbers?” I’m really of no use to you and I’m probably busy putting on my S.W.A.T. suit (borrowed) and night vision goggles.

The pleasant passersby wanted to let us know they couldn’t get into our neighbour’s house.

Thanks for letting us know. You’ll be on your way then?

They asked if we could please call the house to wake someone up as I guess their efforts of just standing on the street playing rock, paper, scissors weren’t getting them anywhere.

Oh good, now I get to wake someone else up at 3:15am.

“What was the number again?” You really would hate to dial a wrong number at that time of night/morning. Also, my military gloves weren’t exactly made for phone dialing.

Would this be the wrong time to channel my inner Adele and start with, “Hello from the other side…..”

We made the wake-up call without incident and everyone landed where they were supposed to, the neighbours safe and warm and me in my cool-down tank to come up with ways I could have worked that tactical gear a little faster.

Please don’t call past 8pm.

We’re asleep.

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