Every morning, I wake up and eventually drag myself down to the family room.

 
I take in the panoramic view of the toys, a t.v., end tables, an ottoman, a couch, pillows and a blanket.

 
I rearrange the pillows on the couch three dozen times in 24 hours and fold that cream coloured blanket 36 million times after the kids use it for fort building, cape dressing and sometimes, on only the rarest of occasions, a blanket.

Time for a cup of tea before the folding and re-folding begins.

 
I ask the kids to please replace the pillows after they park themselves on the couch before breakfast to make our family room look less like a homeless shelter and more like a family home.

I then ask, and I can not stress this enough, to please, for-the-love-of-God please, fold the cream coloured blanket so it sits neatly on the back of the couch.

Time lapse photography was invented for two reasons; 1) to follow the life cycle of a human baby and 2) to show my kids what an absolutely abysmal job they do when it comes to couch etiquette.

Okay, I’m not a total control freak. Just please kids, don’t drag the cream coloured blanket around the house.

Okay deep breath. It’s only 9am. Could someone please return the blanket to the family room?

Noted. I didn’t say “to the couch” so technically, technically the anonymous blanket donor did what I asked them to do.

Could you guys just focus on keeping the couch neat so if a person drops in unexpectedly they have a place to sit down?

Oh good. I just hope people can appreciate Barbie’s flexibility the way the person who dumped her here can.

Whose eerily human baby is that?

Guys listen, I’m not mad. Can you just replace the couch pillows and blanket?

So close. I see you managed to get one pillow onto the couch but oh, wait, that’s not even the family room blanket.

And finally…..

I call this one “Burglary in progress.”

I just hope I’m not the only one.