10 Things Your Kids Will Learn While Visiting A Retirement Residence….

1. There are opportunities to use hand sanitizer (or “hanitizer”) every three, frog leaps down the main hall.

 
2. Frog leaps are not encouraged (nor are crab walking or three legged races).

 
3. Your Great Grandmother will tell everyone and anyone who will listen that you are beautiful and that you are “Swimming Champions!”

 
4. You will spend a lot of time begging to be the one to sign the Guest Book at the entrance and an even greater period of time navigating your way through the book to determine why so many people have dated their visit for later in the week and well into next.

 
5. You will read through several names in the guest book hoping to find Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez or any members of One Direction who might also have Grandparents living in the same facility and who might be visiting right now.
6. You will ask, “Are these cookies in the lobby FREE?” as many times as there are cookies (approx. 7 dozen)

 
7. You will avoid asking or commenting on Great Grandma’s swollen ankles as you’ve been advised not to, but your eyes will follow any foot movements and then frantically dart around the room, eventually landing on the ceiling.

 
8. You will whisper in your Mom’s ear, “Can I have a candy from the covered, glass bowl?” “Can you open the lid?” “Are they the minty kind or the good kind?” over and over and over and over…

 
9. When you learn “Bruce” is 97 and on his way to the Activity Room to enjoy a cup of tea and a rice krispy square you will shake your head like you’re being punk’d.

 
10. You will wonder why Great Grandma runs a humidifier in her room while you run a de-humidifier in yours and you will remain stumped about this for the duration of your stay.

 
You will learn Great Grandma hugs are the warmest, gentlest kind of hugs and so well deserved for beautiful, swimming champions like you but sometimes they’re quick when Great Grandma is late for yoga.

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