There Is Some Craft Up With Which I Will Not Put….

Our ten year old wanted to make a craft she had learned about while on a school field trip.

It was a way to recycle her already recyclable chocolate milk carton by turning it into a hanging bird feeder to be displayed outside our soon-to-be-new-home, a van down by the river.

While I love the creativity these crafts draw out of my children and that they encourage table-work vs. Netflix-study, I would like to know where they think I’m supposed to display all of these gems? Keep in mind, I am thrice blessed so I have daughters from every craft nook coming at me with masterpieces to be mounted, hung, placed ever-so-discreetly in front of the window at our front door, fireplace mantel on my bedroom doorknob and bathtub faucet.

You know those families with one child where they have a fun wall that is meant to look completely whimsical and random with rotating paintings, murals, photography and it always looks amazing and current, confined to the perfectly framed out 8 x 10’ wall in that soaring two storey great room? Well having three kids means messing with three, perfectly good walls.

And let’s not forget many of these art projects can’t be hung up. I have a Thanksgiving pinecone peacock with plumes of all colours sitting on my half wall next to a collection of beach glass and a stone inuksuk all made by my children. They don’t even reflect the same season and I’m supposed to welcome guests into my home with a straight face and expect them to focus solely on the fact I haven’t dusted under the front hall bench since we moved in twelve years ago.

My front hall is currently also home to six Halloween pumpkins. The kids won’t part with any of them this soon after the big day and I knew if I left them outside someone would “accidentally” toss them in a soccer goalie kind of way across my driveway so we moved BB8 (Star Wars pumpkin), two painted pink and purple, one that has the word “Boo!” carved into it and a couple of random geometric shapes inside to stay warm and dry. I have no idea how long I’m meant to care for these new pets but I am praying no one needs to get in or out of our front door because it is a fire hazard of ball returns no alley wants in their line-up.

And then there’s those pieces I’ve just forgotten about because Chloe painted something inspired and then took it upon herself to glue it somewhere and I didn’t have any sand paper or Magic erasers on hand so I left it posted until I heard a visitor snickering while pointing at the back of a bathroom door and I remembered something the Louvre is still on the fence about is staring back at them.

I guess the “art” piece holds some charm but how about the random “stuff” kids just place on shelves like 1/16th of a wooden fruit puzzle that looks like it should have ambient lighting to make the Billy bookcase cube it’s robbed all of the books of really pop.

I remember telling the older girls not to tape anything to the walls or cupboards because it could strip the paint on moving day.

This option left them scavenging for putty, stickers and gum to use as alternatives because “We didn’t use tape, can’t get mad” is a real saying in our house.

Just heading to Bulk Barn to find some seed for this milk carton feeder.

I hope Blue Jays like chocolate.

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