Chloe became bored of the outdoor furniture and wandered over next to me, never saying a word to anyone. It’s as though she was trying to absorb as much information as she could so Lassie could run home and spill all to a patiently awaiting Daddy.
I whispered to the sales girl, “Could I have six pool noodles?” and she rang them up. Back to the swing for Chloe, giving me the chance to slip the noodles into the back of the van. This one might be hard to hide but she’ll never be able to explain what on earth these foam tubes were. If anything, she might go off on a tangent about octopus legs or spiders crawling up her back. I was safe.
I asked the girl where the floaties were, something for an adult. I don’t think I even said it was a gift for my husband. If they look back on the security tape I think they will, yes, they will most definitely find that at no time did I say, “where are the pool floaties for Daddy?”
On the drive home, I explained to Chloe that we were heading home to play and read books and dance to Christmas music and that our shopping trip was a surprise for Daddy so we won’t tell him about the pool store.
Chloe: Pool store?
Me: Yes, the pool store is a surprise.
Chloe: Prise?
Me: That’s right.
As we walked in the door, I had no idea I was already dead in the water.
Greg was standing in the kitchen and Chloe ran over to give her Daddy a bear hug. Nothing out of the ordinary there.
Before Greg could say, “How was your outing?” I heard the following perfectly rehearsed speech from my two year old.
Chloe: Pool store. Shhhh. Pool swing. Shhhhhh. Pool noodles. Shhhhhhh. Prise!
I tried my best to snuff out the conversation as quickly as possible.
Me: Pool swing? What on earth is a pool swing silly monkey!
Chloe: Pool noodles? Shhhhhhhh
Me: Oh, you want noodles for lunch? No problem, coming up.
Chloe: Floater Daddy, present! Prise! Pool store. Prise Daddy! Prise!
That should just about do it.
I swear on my life she then turned to me, winked and mouthed the word, “Sucka!”
Merry Christmas Blabber Mouth!
