Maria took a wee peek at the bag, barely examining the beans and quickly said, “Nah, we can’t do that.”
?
She explained the chair was too big, the material would melt and sent me packing. Over the shoulder went my sack and a flustered, disappointed, second-hand-poop-smoked mommy. What I wouldn’t give to toss the chair and sink into it in their parking lot and weep. Maria was kind enough to call from the door, “You could try a magic marker!” Boy did we laugh at that one.
Next stop, photo shop.
I had been scouring the internet for a place to print some personalized coasters for Greg for Christmas. I thought the cork backing with a fun pick of the kids would be a nice addition to the new patio this summer and would be a unique stocking stuffer.
Sadly, I could only negotiate my way down to 1200 coasters from any given manufacturer and a $600 price tag. That is one ridiculous stocking stuffer I was not interested in exploring. Then, I found a local photo store that advertised cork-backed coasters so I gave them a call.
The gentleman who answered the phone (which at this point, I’m wondering why they aren’t completely obsolete) said, “Hello, photo store, we specialize in custom coasters, how many I help you?” I explained I found some coaster options online and asked if I could order them via the internet rather than having to come into the store. He explained that I would need to visit the store and one of their many coaster-ready computers would walk me through the ordering exercise and I would be on my way in seconds.
Chloe gripping my other leg, I entered the store. I knew right away the gentleman I spoke to on the phone was the guy taking passport photos. I asked him where I could begin operation coaster maker and he looked at me confused. After reminding him of our conversation, he pointed to the one computer that was occupied by a woman who was using a digital camera for the very first time and was taking a shot at making some prints but would only be a minute. Thirty-five minutes later, it was all mine.
I inserted my memory card with one photo and scoured for the coaster icon but no luck so I waved to my mysterious friend for help.
He sauntered back to my workspace and said, “okay, you want to make some posters.”
?
The coasters were actually unheard of in the store, despite being in large part, the only product offered on their website.
He called head office and they in turn called head office who in turn called Berkshire Hathaway where someone at the help desk was able to walk them through the coaster ordering procedure.
Final stop, the pool supply company for some sought after flippers for the kids. As I approached the parking lot to the newly renovated Insurance Office which was no longer a pool company, I couldn’t help but wonder, mall Santa?
Again Santa, my apologies if I in any way insulted you, your suit, your personal hygiene or your smashed candy-canes.
I will never doubt you again,
Sincerely,
Elizabeth A. Hastings
Cabbage Patch Christmas Forever
