This morning, I walked into a scene from my family room circa 1982.

My brother and I had (for the twentieth time that morning) found ourselves in a leg wrestling match over who was taking up more space on the couch.

Our disagreement began with the initial measuring of the couch with the imaginary, crooked line using someone’s side angled hand and always favoured the person doing the measuring. Then, the collection of a straight, narrow object to place in the eyeballed, agreed “centre” of the three cushioned couch followed by a few hand slaps away from the stick-fashioned-line, followed by both of us first kicking until our feet would meet at the soles and we would bicycle each other until one of us pinned the others knees to their shoulders using the frame of the kryptonite couch as leverage until they cried mercy or, catapulting the other over the arm and someone reigned victorious over the coveted orange and brown plaid crown jewel.

I thought we had invented couch wars until this morning.

Hanna had come into the family room earlier than Ellie as is always the case.

Ellie sniffed down the hall dragging her clothes for the day, shoulders slumped and flopped onto the couch where Hanna was stretched out.

Ellie: Hanna move!

Hanna: I was here Ellie!

And the bike peddling began. Wheels in motion, I was fascinated and wasn’t sure if I should stop them or see if there had been any rule changes or revisions/additions since I last played.

Luckily, no one was injured. Hanna went with the classic playbook “I was here first” and sent Ellie to the chair. Ellie lasted only a few seconds before darting to the bathroom.

When she returned, Hanna, no longer feeling the need to take up the entire couch had moved to the chair to begin her slow transition from sleepwalker to functioning day time human.

Ellie: Hanna, get up, you’re in my seat.

Hanna: You left the room.

Ellie: Hanna! THAT’S MY CHAIR!

(Technically, the chair belongs to Greg and me but I wanted to see how this would play out)

Ellie: Fine!

As she flops across the ottoman with one leg raised so as to block Hanna’s view of the morning news. This tripod approach was a new one but I knew the repercussions of the t.v. blocking could be devastating so I stopped them to explain…..well……to explain…….that their uncle and I used to have these exact same arguments. Isn’t that neat?

It does beg the question, why not manufacture couches with even numbered cushions?