My two year old comes up with some crazy bits. Here are a few from yesterday.

Chloe: Mommy, where is Daddy going?

Me: Daddy is going to a meeting.

Chloe: Oh, I love meetings but I don’t like it when you take a bite of my banana. (Storms away from the table)

Chloe: Mommy, can I talk to Elmo on your cell phone? (points to a plastic, toy phone)

Me: Of course you can honey.

Chloe: Hi Elmo? My Mom says you can come over but you have to grow bigger and then, we’ll see.

Chloe begging me to talk on the phone to Grandma, she grabs the phone from my hand, finally getting her turn she says, “Hi Grandma, I never want to talk to you again,” slams phone down.

Chloe: Mom, crabs live in shells. Elephants live in trunks.

She played at a toy store with a toy train that was being hoarded by a little boy. When it was time for the little boy to leave, his Dad said, “Say goodbye to your friend Justin.” Justin said, “Bye” in Chloe’s direction who was busy scooping up the trains and covering them with her entire body, a trick she had just learned from her new buddy. I said, “Say goodbye Chloe,” to which she replied, “I’m not saying goodbye to that boy. I don’t like him. He steals all the trains.”

She refuses to say sorry. She makes no apologies for storming down the hall when she wakes up disrupting everyone else’s sleep. Rather than saying, “Good morning” to any of us the first words out of her mouth are, “Can I watch a show?”

But when we’re sitting outside reading “lots and lotsa books” until the couch can’t hold any more, she’ll climb onto my lap, look me directly in the eyes and say, “Mommy, you’re wonderful.”

I’ll take it.

She usually follows up with, “Mommy, do I smell toots?”