Our house is rigged.

Almost everything is run through our phones but there’s an intercom system, something in the doorbell and it all self destructs the minute Greg reads this post.

He can’t help himself. He has always been interested in gadgets, the new release of anything computerized. He even asks for specific cables and/or wires as Christmas presents. Spoiler alert, he might be getting something with a USB key this year. Shhh.

There’s no real need for any of these hook-ups in our house. It just allows us to sit very still when someone needs to talk to you from downstairs, keeping the dream of only exercising when being chased by a shark, alive.

As with anything electronic, there are glitches.

For example, we added something to our alarm system that notifies you if anyone has cut the phone line. For all the bad guys reading, this means you.

This feature also lets you know when the phone is back up and running.

One night at 3:10am I was sleeping soundly and I heard a booming voice over the loud speaker shout the following, “PHONE LINE, OKAY.”

I panicked, “What? What did that robot just say?” I was under the bed clawing away for the latch to the imaginary panic room (or is it?) before I could take my first breath.

So yesterday, the intercom buzzer went off in the family room during Chloe’s afternoon nap. I was not impressed. I wondered why Greg would risk waking his child and making his wife who would now have to deal with a cranky child for the rest of the day very, very angry.

I walked down to his office before he could yell anything through the speaker that might wake Chloe.

He looked at me perplexed with a small red mark on his forehead.

While he claims he has no idea how the button on the intercom had been pressed I was pretty sure he had fallen asleep at his desk, cracked his head on the phone and accidentally called upstairs.

As I said, there are glitches.