Yesterday we woke up like any other morning, with Chloe threatening to barf on me.

Imagine my surprise one day when she actually does?

There have been a number of kids in her class who have dragged their novelty backpacks up the hall of shame towards a parent who had to leave work early or, in my case, drink a half-steeped cup of tea and change into “day-wear” pretending I’m much more together than I really am, while racing to my child’s aid.

It seems to be the kind of bug that comes on quickly so I didn’t want to take any big chances with Chloe but I did want to take some small ones like sending her to school even after she claimed she would barf on the back of my right calf as I shuffled her onto the bus.

When I look back, I guess there was one red flag, aside from the barfing on my leg comment. She said, “Mom, you’re ruining my life!” but I could have sworn I had heard that one before.

I packed her lunch in an old RBC run for the cure bag because her Smurfette lunch bag had been switched with someone else’s and she brought the wrong one home which was just smurfevitable given the kick ass bags that they are. I can’t believe it hasn’t happened sooner and while I’m sharing, it did take me several minutes of inspection to finally realize, I haven’t bought those veggie stick chips since our cottage vacation this summer and to the best of my knowledge, I’ve never owned black Tupperware that looks like a trophy stand. Note to self: buy black Tupperware that looks like a trophy stand. The kids will feel like winners all the live long day. Also, I don’t have a child named “Sara” (names have been changed to protect the Smurfs) which was clearly marked on the label.

Chloe appeared to be her usual, spunky-self so I suggested if something were to happen during the day, I would give Hanna my cell number and she could be in charge of looking for her little sister at recess and calling me if there was a problem.

I knew two things could potentially happen. 1) Hanna would lose the number before even getting to school. 2) Hanna would do anything to get out of math and would love to look like a hero, rescuing her little sister from the frightening reality that is JK recess.

Hanna did lose the number. She didn’t even leave the house with it. If it’s possible, it was in the exact spot where we made the hand-off. As if by magic, it floated through her fingers onto the ottoman as she slipped the weightless feel of the invisible paper into her pocket and walked (with one glove) to the bus thinking she had it the entire time.

I can’t get into specifics because getting the full story from my kids (one who might barf on me and one who swears she has my cell number in her pocket) would be a waste of my time and yours.

I suspect Hanna figured out when her math class was scheduled, she ran to Chloe and said, “Do you want to call Mommy to come and take you home?” When Chloe determined if doing a puzzle with me sounded like less fun than stealing someone else’s lunch bag, Hanna probably offered her some Halloween candy or a piggy-back or a lock of her hair if she would call home.

I spent the afternoon with a seemingly healthy Spunky Smurf.