I had a conversation with a friend the other day that made me very aware of how I treat my kids and visiting friend’s kids when people are at our house.

I am guilty of sending the kids to “run along and play” after our guests have arrived, when I feel ample time has passed, we’ve all had a few nibblers, some light conversation and then I think it’s great for both the adults and the kids to spread out so I can display my collection of nude self portraits.

The kids can explore the house, the toys and the adults can engage in some meaningful conversation about how a bill becomes law while we show off our finest plastic trays.

But am I taking the kid’s feelings into account? They are part of this family aren’t they? They do live in this house with us. Why should they feel as though they’re not good enough or smart enough or gifted with the basket weaving skills required to hang out with the big peeps?

It’s a slippery slope. This weekend for example, I got the sense that a visiting child might have enjoyed playing in any other room with the kids her age so they could just be kids without the watchful eyes of all of the parents looming overhead.

I suggested to my kids they show their friend the dollhouse. The response was lukewarm at best. The kids preferred to have all-out access to the bowl of tortilla chips and guacamole that is usually closely monitored (pencil markings on the side of the bowl) and portions rationed. The rules related to all-things-avocado just fly out the window the minute guests arrive.

After a few minutes and a lot less chips, I told the kids to go down and play with all of the toys in the basement and show their friend around.

I think the kids ran away for three minutes and were back to lick the salt from the chip bowl before we started getting ready for our first course.

Gone are the days where the living room is roped off. Kids have all access passes to every room in the house. It’s part of being a family.
When I hear someone say, “The last thing I want when someone comes into my front entrance is to know kids live here,” it breaks my heart.

Times have changed.

I remember a family friend coming over when I was a kid and being politely nudged out of the room.

As much as we think the kids aren’t aware of how or why they are being banished, they’re smarter than we think.

Do you tell your kids to leave the room when friends come over?