We are in the early stages of wanting to build a pool shed.

Early stages because we haven’t broken ground but late given we have talked about this building for a couple of years.

The building permit seems to be what is holding us back. Nobody is interested in applying for the permit, reviewing the permit, filling in the permit and having to wear a pencil behind their ear.

It’s a foreign process to us with too many unknowns.

I was once sent (by Greg) to the Building Permit Fortress when we built a fence at our last house. Someone stood nose to nose with me and in a rapid fire exchange, hurled questions about elevation, mold spores, the presence of peanut butter. I can’t remember exactly but I’m sure he mentioned the Phillips head screwdriver. I was unprepared and frightened, vowing never to return.

The experience is a lot like going through customs. You haven’t done anything wrong, you aren’t smuggling anything in or out of the country but you become so fixated on thinking they might ask you if you have a bag of rabid bats in your purse that when they ask you your birth date you start shouting “BAT!”

I haven’t done anything wrong. I haven’t even picked up the permit package and I already know I’m going to scream “Bat!” at someone.

What if someone planted a Phillips head on me when I left my tool belt/fanny pack unattended?

What if I thought we were building with 2×6’s and was laughed out of the office because 2×4’s are really where it’s at?

What if when I ask for the “Accessory Building Permit Package” I get tongue tied and tell them I’m the “Assistant to the Regional Manager?” (Dunder Mifflin)

It’s all very complex with an infinite number of risks.

Still, imagine how nice it will be to have a place to hang our bathing suits?