“Moon balloon, moon balloon,

Tickle the tree.

Four balloons, more balloons

Blossom for me.”

Except instead of saying “blossom” Chloe shouts, “Blast them for me!” which not only changes the tone of the story but excites a violence before bedtime we don’t typically subscribe to.

In the car, her sisters like to listen to Top 40 hits so Chloe is getting a taste of what the big kids are into.

She often asks that she sing the lyrics alone which I think is her attempt at telling us we are the world’s worst singers and should really stop embarrassing ourselves or at the very least, roll up the windows and cover our faces.

I think maybe there’s a children’s album somewhere in her botched lyrics, starting with Beyonce’s, “Single Ladies” which Chloe sings, “Ah Sing To Me, Ah Sing to me, Ah sing to me, Ah sing to me, Now put your hands up!” Again, making it seem more like a command like “put up your dukes” rather than flashing a diamond-less engagement finger. These are the same poses that are blatsing balloons so at least there’s a recurring theme we can work with for the back-up dancers.

She also sings Kelly Clarkson’s “Catch My Barrette” and why wouldn’t it be about a barrette? She’s three years old. No three year old has ever run out of breath. Ever.

Lastly, most likely the single reserved for the A side of the record (I was born in 1975) is Taylor Swifts “Stubble Stubble Stubble.” She does know the line, “I knew you were trouble when you walked in” but the chorus is and always has been, “Stubble” presumably about her Dad and not…..

This has Mini-Pops written all over it. So call me. Baby.