I know mentioning the piano is always a frustrating topic for parents and kids.

 
Our blood pressure crescendos and we get all hot under the keys.

 
I was chatting with a Mom from my daughter’s kindergarten class who explained that if her daughter wanted to quit piano lessons there was no way she would allow it.

“The piano is the one thing I am hell bent on keeping in my child’s routine.” She actually said “hell bent,” she did not say “my child” but I thought I should protect Bridget’s identity.

 
“It makes them better mathematicians you know.”

 
So are they counting keys or learning ditties? Are there equations on the keyboard I’ve been missing all these years?

 
When I asked her why the piano, she said it was because her parents let her quit and she always regretted it.

 
I may be the only human still in existence whose parents let her quit piano and I never regretted it. Not for a second. Not even as I type this do I wish my fingers brushed the keys more elegantly. Does anyone else know there are pianos that actually play themselves now?

 
Never have I been at a Christmas party where the host announced in a panic, “My God! Brian has torn a muscle in his index finger. Can anyway play Heart & Soul and save our party?!”

 
I did however wish I could say, “Would anyone like to see me walk on my hands across the dining room?”

 
I never reached a level worthy of making a major decision about following through or quitting when it came to the piano.

 
I was still mustering my way through seahorse and tadpole or the piano equivalent; baby ivory and chopsticks.

 
My Mom used to tell me the piano teacher lady had become frustrated with me because instead of listening to her play “Singing In The Rain” to get a feel for the notes, I would do a cartwheel behind her in her front window and sometimes knock over a music stand.

 
I had no interest in playing an instrument, but my daughter, Ellie did.

 
When she was in Junior Kindergarten she told me she wanted to learn how to play the violin, so I signed her up for lessons assuming like all instruments, this would be a breeze.

 
She played once a week for an hour and would take the violin out of the case when guests came over while people smiled and whispered, “Look at how small it is. That is adorable!” But NEVER did we say, “Attention everyone, Ellie would now like to play a little something we like to call ‘Twinkle Twinkle’” and put her on the spot.

 
Her math marks remained consistent. Hmmm.

 
About 8 months in, the novelty had fizzled. Someone came over and Ellie pulled out the dust covered violin and the person’s response was, “You should get your money back.”

 
It never occurred to me to push her when it came to the violin. It was all about enjoyment and learning something new. She was happy playing, “Twinkle….wait, Twink….wait….Twin……Twinkle Twink…..wait…..” All day long and it was making her a better mathematician.

 
Regret is a funny thing.

 
My husband regrets quitting competitive swimming as a teenager but he doesn’t blame his parents and his regret is only surfacing now that he’s in his forties and trying to get back into some pretty intense work-outs at the pool.

 
I don’t think what he’s feeling is regret. He stood by his decision to take a 30 year hiatus from the sport to pursue other dreams. What he’s feeling is a challenge and frustration over not being able to accomplish what he could at thirteen.

 
“I regret that my parents let me quit” just has so many other connotations. It assigns blame to some third party. Aren’t parents carrying around enough guilt? Can’t we let this piano thing slide?

 
Do you really “regret” that your parents didn’t allow you the opportunity to chase other goals? Do you really “regret” your ability to verbalize your disappointment in playing an instrument you were no longer passionate about and convince your parents to withdraw you from a program that immediately started saving them a lot of money and countless conflicts?

 
I think we have to give our kids some say in the direction they wish to go when it comes to their own development as people.

 
If music is important to your family, maybe letting them choose the instrument and even (gasp) letting them switch from the piano to the flute isn’t the worst position to be in.

 
If playing the piano is important to you then, deep breath, maybe you need to hear it from a stranger, Go forth and play the piano.

 
I have a friend in her early forties who just started piano lessons and she is loving it because it’s her choice to revisit a time in her life that she fully understands was not a priority when she was a kid but she wants to make it part of her life now.

 
She’s also the person I go to with my math problems.