I have slowed down (haven’t come to a complete stop) when it comes to buying my 10 year old clothes.

I am puzzled, perplexed, confused as to what her style is exactly.

Some days she’s Sporty Spice, others, she’s head-to-toe animal print, sometimes she’s girly/pajamas/slicked back hair/never seen a comb. I remain stumped.

I buy things for my eight year old, “Oh Mommy, that is so pretty! Thanks! I love it.”

I buy things for my 10 year old, “Take it back. That is ugly. I will never wear that.”

Some days she claims to like what I bought the 8 year old so I trick myself while shopping, “What would the 8 year old like?” and then I buy it for the 10 year old. Nope. That doesn’t work either.

The other day I bought some shorts at Winners in the section with the hanging blue sign indicating “Junior.” I figured this is a step up from the kid’s section and a huge leap from buying her clothes at the grocery store.

I folded them neatly on her bed (then casually draped them over the side, then folded them again) and waited for a response.

My heart was pounding when she first walked into her room like I was about to be caught hiding behind the door playing hide-and-seek. I stood at the kitchen sink and waited for her to make the first move.

“Um, what are these?”

Be cool Mommy, be cool.

“Oh, those are just some shorts I picked up for you today. I noticed some of the grade 8 girls were wearing that style so, no big deal, whatever.” I am blowing it.

Hanna: These are shorts? How can I do gym in them? They’re like a skirt at the back?

Me: Oh, well I guess you don’t hang upside down.

I’ve lost her.

Me: If you want, I can take them back. I don’t want them to sit in your closet if you’re not going to wear them.

Hanna: Take them back.

Blerg!

But then something unbelievable happened.

Hanna walked down the hall yesterday morning wearing the shorts. The tags were still on. I wasn’t going to remove them in case she made a quick change before school. I wasn’t going to say or do anything that might risk having her moonwalk back into her closet and retrieve a Nike sweatshirt and hammer pants.

I would compare my approach to discuss her wardrobe to something you would find in a workplace harassment handbook. “You look smart today” is about all I can come up with that won’t land me in hot water. “Say nothing of the shorts specifically but an overall compliment regarding hygiene or general hem-length is permitted.”

Hanna: Mom, I need new sandals.

Oh God.