My kids are always saying, “Well, when I’m an adult” or, “When I move out” or “When I’m a unicorn” (Chloe)  ” I’m going to do that and you can’t stop me.”

I remember feeling that way as a kid, dreaming of the freedom to eat whatever I wanted, wear whatever I wanted, pull my leg-warmers up to the height I deemed not only appropriate but necessary.

Here are a few of the things I thought I would do when I moved out on my own.

1. Eat Kraft Dinner–check! We had an orange powder ban in our home and the only time I could eat Kraft Dinner was at a friend’s house. My first day at University, I bought a case and it did not disappoint. All those years saying, “When you move away on your own, you can eat whatever you want.” And I did.

2. Eat avocados–check! More food. My next-door-neighbours growing up were originally from California and they ate exotic foods like avocados on their salad every night. For some reason, my mother, arguably the healthiest eater on the face of the earth did not subscribe to the Cali-lifestyle (hippies) and never bought them. I vowed to one day eat them and dream of sunnier times. I’ve done that and I enjoy them every day.

3. Eat candy every day–No. I promised my 8 year old self that when I broke out of the candy-free zone I was living in, I would eat as much candy as I could every day. I overheard my 4 year old say the other day, “Why don’t you and Daddy like candy?” I explained that it would give me a tummy-ache or my teeth would hurt and fall out and hers would too if she ate too much. I did not see that coming.

4. Stay up and watch Saturday Night Live every weekend. No. So things happened and I got tired. Perhaps the blip in the 90’s with such a high cast turn over, seeing some of the amazing talent like Mike Meyers, Dana Carvey move on….who cam I kidding. I got very, very tired.

5. Real Christmas Tree. No. I think part of the agreement we made with my parents as toddlers was if they put in the effort of getting a real tree, we would carry on that tradition when we grew up and had families of our own. Then we got married, became home owners, had kids and realized that fake trees from Costco look exactly like real trees and come already lit with NO mess. Sorry Mom and Dad but that was a no-brainer.

6. Wear a white shirt every day. Yes and No. I fought with my Mom about wanting her to buy me a white “blouse” when I was in grade 8 or 9. She was SO adamant about NOT buying me a white shirt it just made me want it more. She recognized I was the spiller in my family, probably the most prolific gene I have successfully passed onto my own three children. She knew I would make a mess of it and it would be a waste of money. I remember saying to myself while smelling the pine needles from our tree, one day I’ll wear nothing but white and I will look exactly like the fabulous and debonaire Don Johnson.

7. Pets. No. I thought I would have a chimp in denim overalls. We don’t even have a fish.

8. Trampoline. No. I still waiver on this one. I would love to have a trampoline for the kids to bounce on but we had an incident on a bouncy castle six years ago involving our neighbours’ son breaking his arm and they imposed a lifetime trampoline ban making us sign a document stating we were too irresponsible to ever own one.

9. Do a back handspring every day–Nope! When I first learned how to do a back handspring as a kid, I remember it was one of the most difficult things to get my head around. It went against everything I thought I should do, jump backwards, flip over–simple. There were steps involved, including bending my knees, jumping straight backwards, bending my hips (what are they?) and landing on a crash mat, over and over again. I vowed once I learned how, I would do one every day until I died.

About two years ago, I gathered my children in the backyard and made a big deal about, “Hey girls! Watch Mommy do a cartwheel.” A cartwheel is not a back handspring but it was gymnastics related.

I don’t have a medical license, nor am I a bone specialist and without an x-ray, it’s tough to know for sure if I broke my wrist under the watchful, not-so-amazed eyes of my children.

What I can tell you, it still smarts.

10. Blast music. Ha. I am the biggest shusher there is.