Hanna said, “Mom, can you put some ice in my water for me?”
I replied, “Why, is something wrong with your arms?”
She said, “No, I just know there will one day come a time when you won’t be able to do it anymore.”
Yes, I think that time is now.
We want our kids to show some independence. We want to think they have been shadowing us since the day they were born and our new role is to take a step back and encourage them to do things for themselves.
I’m always impressed and surprised when I talk to other parents about milestones because it’s in those moments I realize, I had no idea my kid was capable of trying new things. I needed someone else to tell me they were.
The first time Hanna used cutlery, I found out when our wonderful babysitter told me, “Hanna is doing really well with her fork.”
I nodded, packed up her diaper bag and ran out of her house thinking she had used witchcraft to get my child to eat with a utensil. There was no way Hanna was ready for that.
When we got home, I handed Hanna a fork. (A plastic one after I shaved the tips down and rounded them with steel wool so she couldn’t hurt herself) We never went back to using our mouths directly on the high chair tray again. (Wing night is of course, the exception).
A couple of years ago, my friend told me her 9 year old was making eggs for herself on the stove.
Are you kidding? Did she want to be arrested?
But only then did it occur to me I could show my daughter how to turn on a burner, checking that the handle from any pots and pans pointed away from the edge of the stove and how to crack an egg the opposite way she had been for baking cookies which was by first gently kissing the flat surface of the counter with the egg and when that didn’t work, aggressively spiking it on the corner so her shell-encrusted hand was all that was left to smear into the dry ingredients.
I think the trick for us is forcing ourselves to say no. Saying no when someone asks for something they could be doing for themselves. Sure it’s wonderful to be able to help our children or easier to zip up a coat or tie a bow or spit that piece of hair into place.
The longer we spoon-feed our kids, the longer they’ll be asking us to get their ice.
And my hands are starting to get cold.
