Our friends who “love” camping have spent years trying to convince us to take the kids on a weekend adventure in the woods somewhere with nothing but three matches and damp sleeping bags. They assure us this will be a weekend the kids will never forget (I’ll bet).
The problem with this approach is our friends who “love” camping, spend most of their sales pitch telling us all of the ways they don’t actually “camp.”
Well, we bring four tents; one for eating, one for sleeping, one for wine tasting, one for deep tissue massage.
I’m listening.
Oh and we don’t sleep on the ground. We bring king-sized blow up mattresses and Jerry fashioned a wooden frame so we’re propped up so it’s more like home. I made some dust ruffles out of reclaimed table-cloths and the pillow shams are made of bamboo placemats.
Even after reciting all of the ways camping is not sleeping with worms and being eaten alive by mosquitoes, their set-up still sounds worse than the very worst 1 star, drive-up motel and my money is on the motel where at least there’s WiFi.
I opened an article this morning that was meant to entice people to explore our Provincial parks this summer and spend some time sleeping outside.
Here is one of the selling points; Fun fact: Cabin rental options include an old train station and a cabin made from bales of straw that are both solar powered.
So this is a gross misuse of the word “Fun.” Fun is when there’s an indoor water park or a Pink concert. Cabins made from bales of solar powered straw bales? You had me, you lost me.
A friend who was planning her camping trip for the summer was raving about all of the fun her family was going to have. “You just have to be mindful of ticks.”
And here I was worried about bears ripping my face off. What’s a little Lyme disease when you’re having fun! A small price to pay. “Oh and the bathrooms are disgusting so you just don’t shower for a few days.” Sign me up!
Fun fact: On-site kayak and bike rentals make it easy to get out and explore the area.
Kayaking and biking are not easy by anyone’s standards. I got a charlie-horse riding my bike two doors down to the mailbox and now I’m discovering they might be the only mode of transportation in this faraway land of ticks and hay bales. This suggests to me that after a terrible night of sleeping with snakes and spiders I am going to be spending my days paying to exercise. Happy Vacation!
Fun fact: Texas Longhorn skulls, horns and hides are available for purchase right from the Ranch.
Say. No. More. The engine is running…..
