We received a notice from our gas company as a result of our infraction for not having an anti-tipping device installed on our gas stove. This mandatory anti-tipping device has been required by law for the better part of thirty years according to the officer disguised in a Sears uniform who served me with our ticket.
Someone is going to pay for this, but who?
The gas company clearly threatens to turn off our gas by March 2nd, 2011 if we do not have the part installed. Fair I thought, now all I need is one of those weebles that wobble but they don’t fall down to wedge in behind the stove but I’m going to need a gas fitter to sign off on my efforts. This could be a challenge.
My first (and what I thought would be my only call) was to the company that installed the stove. This seemed like a no-brainer. You installed the stove, you broke a thirty year plus rule/law, you fix it. Or, get over here and hold the stove while I line up the weebles.
The woman on the receiving end of the phone was less than interested in helping me keep this stove from tipping. In fact, she very calmly stated that as much as they would love to help, they no longer worked in domestics and focused only on the commercial side of the business. She went on to explain that not only would they be unable to help “if they could,” they don’t even have anyone on staff available to do the work. There I was, leaning on an unsafe stove probably about to topple on me the second I hung up the phone.
Apparently my cleavage wasn’t as big as Greg’s Adam’s apple. A few days after being told I could pound salt, Greg suggested he try.
The owner of the installation company tried to suggest to Greg we had the wrong company. If only they hadn’t printed a receipt on their company letterhead.
He tried to convince Greg he wasn’t the person who did the work. If only he hadn’t signed the document and initialled the various line-items of work along the right column.
He needed proof. Done. Do you have a fax machine? Do we have a fax machine? Buddy, we have a doorbell that rings to our phone and a voice activated mattress pad (the VAMP 360). He wanted time. Done. We are flexible until March 1st, after that, if our gas is turned off, prepare for five, hungry houseguests, three, large toy baskets and you might want to put your dog in a kennel because our kids are afraid of animals. Also, we have a no tolerance rule if any of Polly Pockets’ shoes go missing…..especially if carried off by a dog.
Today, help arrived—two men, one the owner of the company that originally installed the stove, the second, Dan.
I lead them through the hallway length pipe-cleaner banner into the kitchen and pointed out the stove that at this point, had been disgraced and I could barely look at it.
They slid it out from the wall and immediately called me over. Dan and I stared at each other stunned.
Owner: See right there?
Me: (More dust! I thought I just cleaned back there.) What am I looking at?
Owner: You already have the anti-tipping device, installed.
He then slid the oven back into place and rocked it like a swarm of monkeys on my mini-van at African Lion Safari. It wasn’t moving.
Dear Sears Canada, prepare for a lot of stinging.
