The last time we had a babysitter watching the girls, she informed us of a prank Chloe pulled on her, one we had never seen before.
The babysitter told us when she checked on Chloe in her crib she had removed her own pyjamas and diaper and was sleeping nude in a wet bed.
Ah poor babysitter we thought. Kids have been pulling the wool over the babysitter’s eyes since the dawn of play-time.
Then it happened. The following night, I read Chloe her stories I turned on her heater which she calls a fan. I turned on her humidifier which she calls her “humifire” we rocked in her chair, we kissed twelve times (her choice) through the bars in her crib and as Santa as my witness she was fully clothed and diapered when I tiptoed out of the room as she screamed, “LEAVE THE DOOR!”
I listened to her talk to herself, to her walls, to her fan. I heard her ask the humifire if it was keeping “air damp” and flip through pages of books upside down with a pretty convincing “I’m reading these books, really I am” voice.
When all was quiet, not a creature was stirring, just the sound of a mouse thinking he was sneaking Pringles from the upper pantry cupboard, a hiding spot clearly no match for his expert Pringles sniffer, I snuck down the hall to be sure Chloe was sleeping soundly.
She was wrapped cosily in her blankets—check. Her books had been tossed around the room—check. She was asleep—check. There was a pile of clothes and a diaper on the floor in front of her bed—Huh? She was nude and her bed was wet—WTF?
The good news is I was able to pick her up, strip her bed, dress and diaper her while she remained in a deep sleep. It had a real Weekend at Bernie’s vibe, but for babies.
The next night, we talked about the only way to keep cozy was to stay dressed and specifically stressed the diaper’s importance in making for a dry night. She agreed to my terms and after a through-the-bars pinkie-swear I left confident she would never pull another hilarious stunt like the last.
I went to check on her–second verse, same as the first.
This kid has one unrelenting sense of humour.
