Our sting operation was a long time in the making, two years actually. Things finally came to a head this afternoon when there were five cats on our deck and for the first time, we were more afraid of them than they were of us. Four of them looked exactly alike and then sweet, little Hornsour staring in disbelief as if in a scene from Mama Mia, wondering if any or all of these cats were her cross-eyed parents.
We’ve lived among them for almost two years. Trying to infiltrate their lair wasn’t easy. We ate nothing but the juice from cans of tuna and scrapings from the bbq grill. We traded our mattress for a cardboard box and thought nothing of spitting up a frog or mouse whenever we felt the need to make our presence known and authentic.
Greg poised, his cat-like reflexes kept him calm, he set the trap (for the seventy-ninth time) and Hornsour finally walked inside. It’s a cage with some sort of trap door so Hornsour wasn’t hurt in any way, just contained in a box so she could be loaded into the van and be transported to her new area code.
This may sound cruel but what kind of life did she have? Freezing for two straight winters on our deck and spending her springs and summers fighting off the incestuous neighbourhood cats that attacked her nightly.
Will we miss the chewed refuse, a mixture of our compost and animal innards? Check.
Will we miss the howling, moaning and S-C-R-A-M sounds waking us at 3am most warm evenings? Check.
When you expose your bum hole and smear it on the glass of our patio door? Check.
When people come to the door and ask, “Awe, is that your cat?” and we reply, “No.” Check.
The meowing, the hair balls, the urine stains on our outdoor chair cushions? All of the above, check, check, check.
Perhaps one day, our reunion will be viewed by millions on youtube a la Christian the lion. For now, there isn’t enough Windex to scrub this door free of butt stamps but when I wipe it clean, I’ll smile and repeat…..Hornsour, Hornsour, Hornsour.
Hornsour the cat—June-ish 2009—March 2011 (unless the local coyotes adopt her as a mascot)
She left her mark on our deck. Just like she did in my van.
