A few observations from last night’s class

1)      If you stand in front of the mirrors, you have no choice but to either close your eyes or examine every pore on your face intimately.

2)      One of my breasts is larger than the other. I could have said, one of my breasts is smaller than the other but saying one is smaller is getting dangerously close to saying one is non-existent. You will never know which one as my bra and I have worked tirelessly on some action items to keep this strange realization under wraps.

3)      If you are instructing a hot yoga class, select music that is calming if you want your class to relax. I have no idea what clearance itunes store sold you the theme music from City Slickers 3, but the clomping of horses through a make-shift desert/Hollywood studio only makes me want to call a Blacksmith so I can borrow a horseshoe to break a window and escape.

4)      If you are a student and did not bring a water bottle from home (it happens) try not to wander back and forth while staring at yourself in the mirror, tripping over people’s mats because you’re so taken by your own beauty. Some of us need the mirror space to figure out this lopsided bra situation.

5)      If you are instructing your first class and a staff member in-the-know tells you the heat is connected to the light switch, don’t try to prove the know-it-all wrong by constantly turning off the lights/heat. This makes it dark, cold and may be linked to students appearing fuller on one side.

6)      When you made the decision to wear both a tank top and a halter top over the tank-top, own it. If you spend the hour hiking up your halter, smacking straps, you have no chance at this trend sticking.

Namaste.