I spent the PD day with the girls at the park of their choice. It’s a park we don’t visit often because it’s far away but this gives me a chance to discuss the dangers of talking or wandering off with strangers to pet a puppy or be lured by the promise of candy the entire car ride there.
By the time we pull into our parking spot, the kids are sufficiently shitting themselves at the sight of anyone that isn’t their grandparent or immediate family member so my work (at least for an hour or so) is done.
A couple of observations;
- Grandparents and healthy snacks have become an oxymoron. I am totally on board when it comes to grandparents spoiling their grandchildren. If not them, who? I get it. But is it absolutely necessary for EVERY grandparent to supply EVERY grandchild with junk food EVERY visit to the park? Could we throw a couple of apple slices in with the chippets once in a while?
- Guy composing his own rap. My kids are now frightened of the elderly speed walkers and leery of anyone with a pet and/or candy bar but not afraid of the guy dancing on the bridge blocking our path while he composes his own rap and uses his digits as a muff to cover his ear as though the rushing water is impeding his best selling recording.
- Licking park equipment. I guess I thought some things needn’t be said. My kids each took to one of those megaphones, the kind that sometimes have human hork or condom wrappers shoved into the tiny holes, at opposite ends of the park and tried to see how quiet they could be while the other deciphered their cryptic message and I pushed the baby who has no understanding of the word nausea in the swing for the better part of fifteen minutes. When I heard silence, I turned to watch Hanna say, “Ellie can you hear that?” Ellie responded, “No, what?” Hanna, “It’s my tongue, I’m licking it!”
- BFNK—“best friend no kids” who sits alone on a bench while her girlfriend chases her two kids around. The BFNK has no idea how much work her friend is doing because she’s busy sipping her latte, checking her blackberry/iphone and texting herself, “Having no kids is brilliant!” She’s wearing amazing shoes that come with a court ordered document mandating she stay 100m away from mulch. I know this because they’re in my “Things to buy when the kids move away to school catalogue.” I had a friend like that but she went and had a baby. Now she’s in line to get the first release of this season’s yoga pants just like everyone else.
- The retired couple speed walking with their dog approached us to take a peek at the baby. I eagerly anticipated watching one of my older kids kick one or both of the strangers in the shins and the other bite them followed by the two running to me for help but sadly, that will have to wait for another PD day.
