I had a few hours to shop for some clothes this weekend, this time alone and this time, for me! (though, I couldn’t help but look at kid’s bathing suits and discounted seasonal clothes for the girls. And yes, when I look back, I likely spent more time and money on the girl’s wardrobe essentials but let’s be honest, aside from the grocery store, I don’t really need to ever leave the house).
I needed a pair of jeans that I could wear with a pair of tall boots. I was pressured into buying a pair of tall boots last year after spending some time on the playground and noticing I was the only one whose boots came up just shy of my lower calf, also, there might have been a dull penny in the front and the words “Help, I’m stuck in the ’80’s” just above that.
So now I needed pants to fit under the boots because that seems to be the way we teenagers are wearing our pants this year, or should I say last year. I have no issue being one year behind, it’s twenty that I’m starting to dread and develop a complex over.
The jeans all looked appealing, folded nicely and all size 00. No wonder they looked so great, everything looks better when it’s super cute and small.
The names on the jeans (yes, jeans now have fancy titles) were as follows; skinny, modern skinny, curvy skinny or my favourite (in name only) skinny-skinny.
I remembered hearing the average woman wears a size twelve so who are all of these skinny jeans being sold to? I’m thinking retailers might do better with names like “Husky hottie” or “skinny is for suckers” but some skinny bitch in the brainstorming meeting wearing a size double zero must have had the manufacturers lulled into a trance.
I tried on modern skinny because who doesn’t love irony and curvy skinny because the name suggested this might be the best chance we non-skinny-skinnies have at wearing something with skinny in the title.
I’m not going to lie to you. All of the skinny jeans feel really awful regardless of name or size but I had to buy something to fit under these silly boots which I’m going to check for the word skinnny on the heel right after this.
Next, it was poncho-time. Yep, I’m going to wear a poncho. It turns out, no I’m not going to wear a poncho if it’s the last thing I do but I was commited to at least trying one on.
The poncho looked awfully strange but comfortably 70’s in style. I couldn’t get a good read on how it would look wearing nothing underneath it in the change room. The triangular shape made it drafty in areas and I hate being cold. I really only felt “normal” with my hands tight to my sides, anything else shoved the poncho up around my neck and that just looked like I was too lazy to pull my sweater all the way on in the morning.
I came home with two pairs of pants for Chloe, a new bathing suit for Hanna and a pair of p.j.’s for Ellie. None of them mentioned anything about skinny.
Leaving the parking lot, I did notice a woman wearing short boots with a bit of a cowgirl look to them.
And just like that, I’m a year behind.