Greg and I went out for dinner on the weekend and brought home some leftovers to prove to the kids we had been at a restaurant and not a trip to Disney without them.

The food was wrapped in tin foil, shaped like a swan.

They were so blown away that by simply folding foil sheets you could make something so detailed, so elegant, so buoyant, so delicious. Welcome to the world of food-origami.

I heard Greg tell the girls, “Your Mommy knows how to make those. When she was a waitress, her job was to make swans.”

Yep, I folded people’s refuse into works of art. I am now adding that to my resume at the top of the Special Skills section. I think it ranks just higher than “Can turn one eyebrow into two with only a few tears and trace amounts of blood and/or scarring.” I’ll remove the part about my worst quality being unable to remove a sliver from a screaming child’s foot.

Inside the swan was a delicious lamb shank.

Ellie: I thought lambs were white?

Hanna: It’s not the animal Ellie it’s the kind we eat.

I see we’re still not getting this whole food chain thing.

Ellie: Mom, do swans eat lambs?

Hanna: Why isn’t it white?

Ellie: Do they rip off the white stuff and then kill it and then we eat the stuff inside? But NOT pregnant mother lambs right Mom?

Basically, though I wish she had stressed married, pregnant mother lambs.

Hanna: I didn’t know we ate swans.

Ellie: Wouldn’t it make more sense for a lamb to eat a swan?

I hereby declare this home Vegetarian.

The world’s first swan eating lamb is in the garbage.