I move to strike the word ‘obviously’ from the English language…with a few exceptions.

Yesterday morning, I was in my weekly swimming class and the coach was explaining how to transition from one stroke to another off of the wall.

She said, “Obviously you’re going to touch the wall with both hands when doing breast stroke.”

Um, obviously?

The swimmers in the group nodded and laughed like, what moron doesn’t know that? It’s so obvious.

Until that moment, when I was told to touch with two hands I had been hitting the wall with a number of body parts. My head, my anus or sometimes a combination of the two but almost never both hands simultaneously.

It reminded me of when Alex Trebek sometimes says things to the contestants on Jeopardy after making an error on a question, “JFK’s assassin was obviously wearing thermal underwear.”

Obviously.

I don’t think these people would be quiz show finalists if that were as obvious as you imply, Alex.

Or when my husband holds the tv remote and says, “Obviously you press beep beep beep beep beep beep (hitting a series of random buttons) to turn on the Wii and the microwave at the same time.”

Here are some exceptions I will allow;

1. Obviously any recipe combining peanut butter and chocolate is going to be awesome.

2. Obviously you are taking your life in your hands if you try to find a parking space at Costco on a Saturday.

3. Obviously you shouldn’t try to swallow gallons of water while swimming but if it happens, it doesn’t make you a bad person. Obviously.

4. Obviously the person who invented the Rainbow Loom is both a craft and marketing genius.

5. Obviously I look better when I wear make-up and attempt to groom myself. I just don’t have the time.

6. Obviously if I send Chloe to school with an elastic or more than one elastic in her hair either to keep a braid or pony tail in place, she is not going to return home with it.