My kids had their Halloween costumes picked out.

It was going to be easy this year.

Hanna borrowed a pirate costume from a friend–check.

Ellie’s twin robber costume has been supplied almost entirely by her friend (robber #2) including a sack the girls made together with a dollar sign on it. Most robbers like to let the world know what they are after and what’s inside the bag. It would be too time consuming to draw watches, electronics and jewellery. Robbers by the very definition are inherently lazy.

Chloe–princess–check.

But this week the girls seem to be wavering and requiring some extra supplies.

Hanna didn’t like the unflattering, shapeless black smock from her pirate costume and asked for a red fringy skirt. Because you can’t bury treasure if your red skirt doesn’t have a proper fringe.

Ellie needs a black wig because all robbers have black hair and/or all robbers wear wigs.

Chloe wants to be a blue princess (Cinderella), not a yellow one (the one we have).

Ellie, “Where’s my black face paint?”

Me: For what?

Ellie: Robbers need black circles around their eyes.

How did she get a hold of an old Flintstones episode?

Hanna: Did you get me one of those things?

She motions an imaginary corset over her torso.

Hanna has confused pirate with Hollywood Madame.

Chloe: I don’t want to be a princess. I want to be a horse with the longest tail of all.

And then as Beyonce as my witness, just when I was ready to shut this whole Halloween thing down, I swear my three year old princess/horse said the following, “Or I could just go out as a raisin if you keep making me wash my hands all the time.”