I volunteered at my daughter’s preschool to submit a monthly update to the local paper about what the kids were up to. A promotional piece for the school and teachers and to let the community know of a great program for their kids right here at their fingertips.
Except it is difficult to write anything when the feedback from Chloe about preschool usually sounds as follows;
Me: Chloe, what did you do at school today?
Chloe: Nuffing.
Me: Oh, you must have done something.
Chloe: Nope.
Me: Did you eat a snack?
Chloe: No.
Me: Really, I thought you had a snack every day.
Chloe: Oh yeah. We had bird poop.
Me: Did you play or make a craft?
Chloe: Yep. We made butlers and stuff out of our butts.
So I think the first article will probably go a little something like this:
Nuffing But Bird Poop Again This Month At Preschool
My sources tell me preschool is once again offering bird poop at snack time.
Structured play time includes things like, “Getting your butt over here you butler” and a disproportionate number of “butt” related activities.
When asked what types of crafts the kids have been making, the common theme has been butts, not wearing underwear, this while eating of all things, more bird poop.
I might need to do some creative editing but I think you get the idea.