1. Check your many, many calendars; the one on the fridge, the milk calendar, online calendars, don’t forget the one in your kid’s school bag and if you see a space open to book your children into an activity, even if for a very brief amount of time, do it.

2. When the Coach at your daughter’s gymnastics lesson suggests she needs a bigger challenge, immediately shuffle her out of the class she has been enjoying, away from kids she is starting to call friends and switch the day/time to a longer, more expensive lesson where she doesn’t know anyone. Think of the opportunities. Especially for a four year old.

3. If one of your kids is involved in a competitive sport outside of school, be sure to add a second so they have options later in life when they want to quit one. This might also coincide with the moment they tell you they hate (me) you.

4. Call playing with a friend a “play date.” When you become so heavily involved in extracurricular activities it’s the only way you can book time to be a kid. No more, “Can Ellie come out and play for an indefinite amount of time?” Book it. Call it a date and set a time limit.

5. If two or three sports aren’t enough, sign your kids up to learn how to play a musical instrument. You pick the instrument. This is key. You don’t want something you might find offensive or off-putting in the early stages. Music is important! It makes them smarter and taps into a part of the brain they just aren’t exercising at school and at all of that other exercising.

6. Book them into activities their friends know nothing about. This will make your child better at obscure things when it comes time to show off their skills. This one is risky because that time may never present itself but if it ever does. Read ‘em and weep other parents! Your kid is a star! Did you see the way she cracked the pickle ball and it bounced off Pat’s nose? Winning.

7. Don’t be afraid to sign up for activities that start at 5am or earlier. This is the best way to tell if your kid has what it takes to make it in this world. Sure, they may never have a university course or place of employment that requires them to wake up that early but testing their physical and mental stamina—you can’t put a price on that. Don’t think too far ahead to university or careers either. You’ll have plenty of time to plan that for them too when the time is right.

8. When your child comes to you and says, “Mommy, I would like to learn how to play soccer.” Shut it down. Who is in control here? Their friends have been playing soccer for years so your kid will never make the first string. Never mind the fun with friends, the socializing, the outdoor time and the skills they might learn. Think long term. Also, if you’ve never played yourself, how are you going to be able to run drills in the yard before and after practice to warm them up?

9. Don’t be afraid to borrow money to support these extracurricular activities. That’s what banks are for. Think of the money you’ll save on those other unnecessary items like tricycles and skipping ropes and vacations that will never get used.

10. Buy a stop-watch because every second counts. Oh and one for your ex-spouse too. Spoiler alert, you didn’t think the marriage would last did you?

Here’s how you will know if it’s working.
Your kids will start calling you ‘Sensei.’
You will find yourself saying things like, “Okay people, in six minutes….”
The only food (and food alternates) in your cupboards will contain the words “Energy” and “Boost.”