Okay, now it’s gone too far.

My kids have had three skating trips cancelled due to inclement weather. What other kind of weather are we meant to skate in if not inclement?

You can’t skate when the sun is shining, birds are singing and the sprinklers are fighting to keep the grass green.

It’s winter in Canada.

But don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.

Please note, when I checked the box “Would you be willing to volunteer on this class trip?” I was secretly praying to the Ice Goddess, Susan that this would somehow fizzle and/or I would not be selected.

I always check the box YES because it’s in the stay-at-home-Mom’s contract to volunteer for field trips.

Isn’t that what we tell ourselves when we decide not to go back to work? “I’m going to make a lot of healthy, creative meals, look for deals at the grocery store before just buying something at full price and go on all the kid’s class trips.” Suddenly, my life has meaning.

The skating trips however are never a favourite of mine but they are right there in the contract in fine print: Class trips may include lengthy bus rides with aggressive boys who want to wrestle each other over the seats, having to give up your scarf, gloves or pants to kids who randomly roll in dirt and/or fall into a pond and tying skates in inclement weather.

For starters, I’m not much of a skater myself so I bring zero value add to the outing other than I get to wear my fancy crossing-guard sash to walk the children across the street to the rink.

Secondly, no children know how to tie their own skates until they’re at least into double digits and even then, I’ve seen dozens of ten year olds who simply line up on the bench and wait for the volunteer Mom to wipe away her tears and make it down the row to the last batch of blades.

I overhear the kids talking, “It’s in her contract, she has to” and I want to throw my sash at them.

Tying skates takes time. It takes strength. It takes just the right amount of moisturizer on your hands so the skin doesn’t crack from the cold but not so much the laces slip through the fingers. It’s mind numbing because they all look the same but also dangerous because they’re sharp, walking weapons.

When Ellie’s first trip was cancelled she was so disappointed. I couldn’t contain the excitement on my face.

Then Hanna’s was cancelled and I couldn’t believe I had hit the jackpot twice.

Both trips were re-scheduled and Ellie’s snow-date has now arrived.

This too has been cancelled due to cold weather. Something tells me someone in the planning department feels the same way about tying skates as I do.

The good news is, volunteer parents have been invited to come into the classroom to play warm weather games with the kids.

I’m wearing my sash.