As Canadians we are known throughout the world for being unbearably polite.
We say “sorry” constantly and apologize for standing too close, saying the wrong thing or sometimes just for existing.
So I guess thanking people is an extension of that same act of kindness.
Except when it comes to kids in sports.
I have heard countless parents thanking people after they have praised their child and I think it has to stop.
I overheard a parent at a hockey game say to the goalie’s Dad, “Johnny was fantastic in net today!” Johnny’s Dad responded, “Thanks.”
To me, “thanks” implies a personal acknowledgement for something you have done. In Johnny’s case, the only thing the parent did was drive him to the rink where he sat and drank his coffee.
We have to stop taking credit for our kid’s accomplishments and maybe this will put an end to the frustrations some parents feel as spectators who become enraged and end up shouting or engaging in physical violence.
Let’s remember, it’s not about us when they’re on the field. It’s about the kids.
In the gymnastics waiting room, a mother said very loudly to another mother, “I saw Betsy finally did her back-tuck. Congratulations!”
Congratulations? Betsy isn’t even in the room? What did Betsy’s Mom do to achieve that goal? Did Betsy’s Mom curl up on a crash mat after hitting the floor on her back, stomach and head repeatedly before she finally perfected that back-tuck? Maybe, but I find that highly unlikely. Did she strut around in a leotard the jaws-of-life had to pry from her holiest of holies? (Speaking from experience)
Betsy’s Mom replied, “Oh thanks. It has been a long time coming.”
It’s interesting how quickly we’ll accept praise and thank people as if we had anything to do with our children’s successes but when our kids mess up or score on their own net do we apologize? No. If anything, we join the community of parents on the attack, “How could Johnny have let in that goal? Is he blind?”
Johnny’s Dad is the angriest of all, already over the boards shouting at his son for not doing more to make his Dad look like a hero for a second week in a row.
Last weekend when our kids were in a swim meet, I said to one of the parents, “Your daughter did an amazing job on her swim. She looked great.” Then before she could answer I said, “That had nothing to do with you by the way.”
She laughed and said, “True, but I did make her.”
Noted.
