One of my kids (rhymes with Rihanna) wanted to stay up all night as part of her summer bucket list.

 
I guess when you’re eleven, that seems like a reasonable goal and being the willing enabler that I am, I couldn’t see any downside to this exciting adventure.

 
Hanna, sorry, “Rihanna” would stay up all night watching movies and tv shows and then put a giant, check-mark next to her, “Things I must do before I turn twelve” and all would be right with the world. She would also earn a check-mark next to her other list, “How to trick my parents into letting me watch tv for hours.”

 
Except Zombie-Hanna/Rihanna is almost unrecognizable in her current form.

 
She started folding laundry (her rent for living here) four hours ago and has completed two pillow cases and not at all up to the Gap-like folding skills that we’ve become accustomed. It should also be noted, the pillow cases have been used as actual pillows by the folder a number of times.

 
I’ve been keeping her hydrated and even offered her some coconut water. Why, does that turn back the hands of time and make me less of an idiot for agreeing to this? Maybe I was just hoping I could get someone to drink that awful stuff.

 
I guess it started when she tried on a winter coat at Costco the other day. Winter. Coats. I think my brain just started to melt and I had to come to terms that summer/FUN would soon end with a fur-hood filled with a giant ice ball.

 
I also noticed she was trying on the ladies winter coats and for the first time in my parenting career, it did not look like a baby dressing up like a pirate from the costume bin. My kid is growing up—fast. I would allow the all-nighter to take place.

Maybe as a rite of passage. Maybe because I want her to enjoy some of those silly kid-things before she needs that ladies winter coat. Maybe because I was hit in the head (with a swing) as a child and forgot how stupid it was to go an entire night without sleeping.

 
So exhausted “Rihanna” resembles an adult with a severe hangover with a couple of added disabilities.

 
She is basically unable to remember how to speak or where things are in her room or in the house in general.

 
She has eaten which is good (I guess) but was willing to eat cereal for dinner suggesting to specialists that the time of day continues to elude her.

 
At no time in the past 24 hours has she brushed her teeth. I’m not sure this is related to exhaustion but for the love of God do I have to remind them every five seconds about basic, personal hygiene?

 
When I told her that her sister scored a goal at her soccer game she said, “Tell her I said ‘Great Job!’”

 
Yep, this is worse than I thought.