It was bound to happen. I had been driving past the “Store Closing” signs for over a month.

 
I had no plans to check out the “store closing” deals at Target but the parking lot was so full and my brain kicked into that “jump into that ridiculously long line of people, there must be something amazing at the end of that red bulls-eye” mode. Then I heard the voice of every parent in history, “If the sign said ‘Bridge Closing!’ would you jump?” What?

 
I found a parking spot about 3kms from the front doors and saw people dragging out partial shelving units and was fairly certain I was in exactly the right place.

 
There were a few discounted items I picked up; a white tablecloth (kids, you can never have enough plain, white tablecloths), some $1 nail polish and a pair of yoga pants with a skirt attached but on the outside (kids, you can never have enough inexplicable yoga-wear).

 
I also picked up a pair of jean shorts for Hanna, size 14-16 (kids) that I knew would be too big but with “Store Closing!” prices, she would learn to love them like the third, denim sister she never had.

 
And then I looked around at the very long line up of people who must have walked even further than the 3kms I did. Some of them appeared to have been traveling for days. Some, possible time travelers visiting from the future, here to take a rack of $3 shower curtains to their fancy high-tech villages.

 
I considered leaving my pile of stuff that I didn’t really need and walking out the door (but the door had been sold to the person in front of me in line so it felt safer to stay inside). Also, I appreciated the chart outlining, “If the price says $14.99, you pay $.03” so I stood and waited, relieved no math would be expected of me.

 
When I got home, there was a series of grumbles, “Did I get anything? Did you get me any treats? I hope you’re not planning on pretending that tablecloth is a treat for me,” followed by the inevitable, “Whose shorts are these? They’re HUGE!”

 
Okay! Just try them on. They might be big now but they were basically free and it was either those or a door and maybe you’ll grow into them.

 
Ellie, “Who did you buy those shorts for Mom? Those are the biggest shorts I’ve ever seen! I didn’t even know they made shorts that big!”

 
I think we all know what came next.

 
“Mom, these shorts would fit you!”