Today was a PD day or a PA day or a those-of-you-who-work-full-time-are-f’d-day. As for the rest of us, we had a fun outing planned with the girls and headed straight for Funworx after several arguments pre and post breakfast, a baby with big sisters p.j. pants covering her head running into a table (I’ve really got to put an end to that game or pay closer attention), hairbrush tears followed by torturous squeals before deciding pony-tails all around were the best way to get us out of the house alive and off we went.
One of the first things I noticed, besides the magical, airborne bacteria that leapt onto the kids before even setting foot on the spongy stairs that will inevitably resurface this evening in the form of a 104 degree fever, was the pit of balls now housed a combination of some plastic and some foam balls. I wondered what kind of request for proposal went out to the various foam ball manufacturers to bid on a displacement deal like that.
Funworx management: We’re looking to replace the plastic balls. All of them.
Foam Ball people just waiting for a dream call like this one: Let us come and quote the project, I’m thinking thirty billion tiny balls with some sort of anti-venom coating?
And why replace the balls? I’ve noticed signs in the past suggesting the balls actually get cleaned (a post I don’t believe for a second, how could they possibly clean every ball?) I watched one of my kids lick one of the plastic ones and another take a bite out of a foam one. That’s at least two balls in kid’s mouths that should be bagged, printed and sent to the lab.
Were the plastic balls too hard when pelted by the older, more rambunctious boys? Sorry Moms of boys but seriously, they are a different breed when it comes to playland ball-pelting freedom.
The plastic ball guys are wringing their hands trying to find a softer, more malleable material to quickly combat the loss of yet another amusement park pit. The foam guys are giggling, finally their moment in the sun.
If that’s the case, why not replace all of the balls with foam? Is the deal being slowly introduced on a trial basis? Is the investment in foam so massive they can only make the transition over a five year period? We’ll give you forty-thousand foams to backfill those plastics that have been vomited or pooped on and eventually, we’ll load the pits with all foam.
After ten minutes my kids could have entered the Guinness Book of Records under a newly invented category—Most Tattle Tales In Ten Minutes and tied for first place leaving all other entrants in their dust.
I suggested they try saying three nice things to each other and they would both feel better.
Seven Year Old: Please, thank you, you’re welcome.
Five Year Old: Please, thank you, you’re welcome.
A good day for Mommy.
A great day for foam.
