1.       Don’t forget to change your little one into a diaper designed to get wet. Yes, a regular diaper will explode when at full capacity (full capacity is approx. ¼ of any of the great lakes) and yes it is funny but oh the mess.

2.       Do let your baby taste the sand but take note of how many of them go back for seconds. Mine always did.

3.       Do pick up after your dog on the beach. Please refer to tip number two

4.       Use sunscreen but with a slight breeze, your spray bottle is going to protect half of the beach so be considerate of those around you busy eating sand.

5.       Do encourage your kids to chase seagulls planning to steal your lunch and mine. I’m a huge fan of animals, of nature and leaving those meant to live outdoors to their own agenda. Except seagulls. If I catch you feeding them, inviting them close enough to my picnic blanket I can see them smirk, you might find a ready-to-burst diaper tucked neatly in the side pocket of your purse.

6.       Don’t smoke

7.       Do wear appropriate beach/swimming attire covering all tattoos and piercings so I don’t have to answer questions about when my kids can get their ears pierced and why so many people have pictures of dolphins and 80’s cartoons “drawn” on their bodies.

8.       Snacks—bring extra. When my kids realize sand isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, they’ll be looking to you for hand-outs.

9.       Don’t share hats. I have lice vision and can see the microscopic critters hopping from your child’s visor to his sister’s head. I really think we need to have a united front on this one.

10.   Towels/personal space/umbrellas/pets—let’s agree on some boundaries.

11.   Washrooms—please clearly mark all public washrooms so I don’t wonder why there are hairy men’s feet standing outside of my stall. (twice) (my bad)